It Is Like Finding Out That Santa and The Easter Bunny Were Both Actually Actually Pablo Escobar In Disguise, And That He Has Personally and Repeatedly Peed In Your Chicken Soup, And That He Told All Your Friends About It, And Also Said That He Would Do It Again

Or, in other words, Apple and Google are both Satan.  If this were a tennis match, the dude on the highchair would now shout "NEW BALLS PLEASE!", but we don't have the luxury.

There are people out there saying this sort of thing:

Eww! Suave high-tech megacorporations are stealing all my personal data; freedom slips one drop at a time through our fingers as we tumble softly into a dystopian nightmare, waa, waa!

And to them I say "Cool it, junior! Why don't you leave all the hard thinking to grownups?"  Either way, we get it.  Google and Apple are both evil.  Boooooring.  Can we have some new news now please?